Thursday, June 25, 2015
It really isn't easy to be in a relationship. Recently, I was talking to a friend and recapping all the past relationships i have had, and i realised.. what constitutes a real relationship is where there is love, sacrifice and responsibility. I am not saying that is all, but these are really elements that have to be in a relationship, and oftentimes, these are the hardest to do.
In the past, I never understood what sacrifice really meant. I was driving along Upper Changi Road today, and I remember those times I would be angry with my mom because I woke up late for school and she couldn't drive fast enough to get me there on time. I've always had my way, and I never felt like I had to sacrifice anything for anyone. Of course, I grew up a lot when daddy's business failed, but still, "sacrifice for others"was something I was just too unfamiliar with. But God put me in this relationship with J, and I am forced to learn what sacrifice is. A girl like me, who loves cafe hopping, loves the outdoors, loves living life, met a boy struggling in med school, buried in books and notes. At this point, studies are his priority, and I have to take the back seat. It is tough. It is tough not being able to share my day, my frustrations or achievements at work. It is tough not being able to lead what I always thought was a "normal" life. Sometimes, our relationship even reaches a point where it seems irrelevant, because he doesn't know much about what's happening to me. But I guess, it is through this, that I really learn to understand, what being a supportive spouse means. I finally understand, what it means to sacrifice willingly, unconditionally. It means swallowing disappointments, anger, negativity, for the man you love and for his future. I do it, out of love. That is sacrifice. Of course, sometimes the negativity still gets to me, but inside, I know that I signed on for this, and I am gonna stick through this. And the only way I can do this, is with God's strength, and the love that started everything.
Some updates about the wedding planning. We have done our wedding video! Or rather more or less done. Still need to film the interview part and we are done. The video means so much to me, because it is like a mini project that we put effort into doing together. Next will be our photoshoot in Sept! Oh and we have sorta decided to get a HDB, so yet another thing to be excited about I guess!
Read a colleague's blog recently, and it was full of depressive thoughts and experiences. It instantly brought me back to those dark times that i had, those times that I cringe to even think about. But i am so glad God gave me a new lease of life. God treasured every tear I cried, and walked with me out of those mess. I can't erase the past, but with God, I know I am in good hands. I cry when I must, but He will pick me up. My colleague seemed lost, she sounded like the people around her can't make her feel better. I am not that close to her so I know I probably won't make any physical difference, but I prayed for her. I pray that God will walk with her like He did with me, and when she sees that, she will need nobody else.
Psalm 46: God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed, and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;
your name
wrote at ;; 11:33 PM
