Saturday, September 22, 2007

ok i noe i am supposed to be studyin
i have like 3chap of fnb and 7chapt of POM
undone
and my exams are on monday
but i jus cant mk myself settle dwn yet

somebody gimme a kick in the butt
and try tellin me
tt i need to study for my test
NOW

ohwells
or shd i go play photohunt later
=x

your name wrote at ;; 5:00 PM

Sunday, September 16, 2007

realised i haven been blogging for the past 234821741481748841 days
actually
i haven even been online
getting a little lazy to blog
but jus felt like penning down some thoughts

human related problems
i was sort of talkin to one of my church girls
and she gave me this feeling tt
she was in depression
because of some human related problems
at first
i reli didnt und
how big an effect it could be
but as i think abt it
we shd reli be more sensitive towards the ppl ard us

results
got back my results
wouldn say i am satisfied
but i am thankful
bcuz i was sick during the exams
and i thought i would do much worst
=)

work
i've been workin since 5th sept
tts part of the reason why i am so uncontactable nowadays
the ppl at work are fun
reli fun
but sometimes
i will jus wonder
why am i workin
when i always believe in
enjoying whilst i can
working is robbing away the precious free time i have

friends
haven been talkin to any friends recently
the onli ppl i talk to are
family and colleagues
caught up with son today
but a short time onli due to some disturbance -_-
reli need to catch up with my friends soon

church
i must DECLARE
I HAVEN LOST MY FAITH
i guess i am jus walking down a downslope in my faith
the decreasing amt of time i spend in church is probably one of the bigger accomplice
haven been gg to cell for the past
4mths
WOW
tt's about 16cells tt i have missed
and now
bcuz of work
i cant attend much of sat service
i know everythin abt priorities
but its jus
not up to me to decide at times
quite thankful i have sunday service
and a serving ground in children ministry
starting to have this bad feeling
tt i will be kicked out of ren ai
oh well
fingers crossed for now

cell
i am onli daring to write these
cux i am quite positive tt
my cell mates dun read my blog
and i reli reli reli jus need to write how i reli feel
as i have mentioned
i haven been gg for cell
for almost 16 weeks
it all started with the trainings tts why
then when trng stopped
it was more of the
i dun dare to go for cell
because it jus seems wrong
its like
even on sat
when i see them(cell mates)
we are like strangers
aliens
guess it isnt anyone's fault
its jus
we haven seen each other for long
so we duno wad to say
and the animosity jus grows
until this walls start to build up
there were a few times
i could mk it for cell
and set my mind to go
but at like 4:45pm
i change my mind
wanted to sms them a verse for their prelims
but jus felt
like weird
tt i sudd msg them
and sound so holy
when they prob also think tt i am
backsliding or sth
which i am NOT
so i decided not to
as much as i think
this is a die die situation
and i dun see a light on how
things can change for the better
i still hang on to that thin line of hope
bcuz i am still a part of steward
no matter wad
even if stewards onli write all the best for prelims and never write
all the best for cass's exams
(WHICH IS COMING
OMG)
even if i reli am chased out of steward
i will stil be a part of them
i dun care
cux thats where i grew
awww
I AM SERIOUS
lol
emo

i still wanna blog
but i realised this is a long post
and it is getting late
so
night world!

Labels:

your name wrote at ;; 2:13 AM

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

ok after finally finishin friday's post
i shall post abt today

went for the Dr Eng comp
prob lack of warm up
i didnt play well
ohwells
IVP
i will do better

i reli cant stand arrogant pple
who think they belong to some elite group
grr
one of my opponents today
not only tt she isnt THAT good
at least she wasnt as gd as the other opponents
she was like the MOST arrogant one
smirking at every tyco ball she had
and frowning and looking at her opponent in disgust when they tyco
i mean comeon
u also tyco-ed rite
no need to look so wei qu
-_-
was so pissed off
so much for
SPORTSMANSHIP

went to whitesands for lunch
there's this clift climbing competition thing gg on there
and i see kids tryin their best to beat the record for the day
to win a mountain bike

nope i didnt reli see that intention in them
most of them i saw
were tryin to beat their PB
some tried once or twice
but all they aimed for was to beat their PB
not to beat the best record

guess this kind of child-like innocence is wad i like
jus like the topic for today's arena(repeat telecast) on elitism
elitism in the WORLD
not onli SPORE
is mkin ppl go crazy jus to get the cert
to beat everyone
to get the best

yet these kids
jus want to compete with themselves
all they want is improvement
not to win
not everybody has to go away with that mountain bike
its the sense of achievement of doin ur best
beatin ur own record
and testing ur limits
tts enough
rite?

WRONG
wad i said above prob wun stand in this society
in this society
u have gotta be either the best
to get those scholarships
or be the worst to get welfare benefits?
oh wells..
tts life

as much as we want that child like innocence
we gotta face tt we r living in this
SUPRA-COMPETITIVE WORLD
and onli the strongest will survive

scary but true
but wad i said is jus some observations i made la
may nt be true
jus speakin wad i feel
dun wanna be hauled up by authorities for wadeva
=pp
i still love singapore =pp

yepp so tts it for today la
:)
tmr will be a bz day again
so long
praying for STEWARDS and CLIQUE studyin for prelims

Labels:

your name wrote at ;; 1:25 AM

Saturday, September 01, 2007

this is a post meant to be posted on friday. but i fell aslp halfway. and completed the rest today.=p canceled some rubbish i wrote whilst fallin aslp, but left it here to show u all how weird i get when i m tired=pp

a fully packed day
but a day full of fun, reminiscing and reflecting

was SUPPOSED to meet the clique at 8am
received tons of calls from i think qi or twin
hid the phone under the pillow
(semi-subconsciously)
functioned my brain to focus on slpin onli
(tt was also when i was semi-subconscious)
someone was smart( i think is qi)
dad came in to tell me to call this person back ( who is qi again)

reached macs at ard 9:45
=pp
didnt reli eat
but went to play long time faves
BISH BASHI

after that, the whole clique went into the car
and tada
i arrived at SINGAPORE


in the evening, i brough yj to church
he enjoyed it
which was great
on my part
i also enjoyed it
watched a video for the 2nd time
and i reli thank God

the first time i watched it
i was feelin down abt promos and all
ths second time i watch it
it was more of an assurance

been askin God recently
why are there so many politics in man's life
like
not onli in work or studies
but even in churches i see politics
even admist God's love there is politics
thats scary
i hate to be involved in politics
so i run away as much as i can when i see one oncoming
but by doin so
i may be fallin into a category called
"irresponsible catogary"

this night
while watching the video
which was talkin abt the rain in our lives
and the narrator kept emphasizing
that GOd will bring us thru all the storms of our lives
i took it another way

it was sort of a reminder to me
that God sees all these politics
be it in school, whereby friends backstab friends
or at work, whereby colleagues gossip abt colleagues
or at churches, whereby cliques form or ppl feel too comfortable with themselves
or just simply anywhere
God sees them

God will do what He wants to do abt all these politics
i just have to live my life according to His i guess
and turn a blind eye to all these politics
run away u can call it
i choose to call it
ignorant

yepp tt is the reflection part.

went ka toh jian ( jiandaojian) with son, YJ and LL
at first i felt kinda weird la
but good thing is the 2 males noe each other
and we 2 females noe each other too
so it got kinda easier i guess=D

tt ended the day for me
a long day
but a one well spent

now i shall go blog abt today
lol
wad a screwed up calendar i have
=pp

your name wrote at ;; 2:54 AM

the girl


Cassandra Loh
Just a simple girl blessed richly by God
"Let go and let God"
"Safe in a simple world"

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