now at sportsmag for internship. will update later. here to write a quote i jus tot..
your name
wrote at ;; 1:44 PM
Monday, November 20, 2006
he gave me a verse, Isaiah 41:9-10... he reminded me of the Lord's love.. and how He's strength is enough... He told me not to give up.. he told me He has a plan for me...
He is a vv unexpected person.. i never tot he would have cared... i noe some close friends do care.. i noe even if dey dun say it out.. they care... and when one close friend, sudd dun care much, the disappointment u get is so great.. but when a distant friend, a friend that u never tot would care.. would stand by ur side.. sudd say such encouraging words upfront.. my heart jus warms up..
thanks wen yang..thanks for being such a great brother. thanks for that verse.. more imptly, thanks for showing our Lord's love..
to those hu have cared, worried, prayed, encouraged me.. thank you.. cassandra met with a downfall.. but she will rise in due time.. jus gif her some time.. but for now.. the Bintan camp and the children camp...i will use it as a retreat for myself.. i reli need to quieten down and think.. where did i go wrong.. wad shd i do next.... i realised.. tt i need time to reli be by myself and think.. think quietly without the influence of anyone.. i probably needa talk to someone.. and probably the someone is either pwj, fu shun mu shi or marg jie.. i wont go into depression though dun worry =) to those pple hu wonder, why do i tok to them and not some others, i jus hafta say.. prob it is not too easy to talk to my dearest close friends.. bcuz i dun wish for u all to worry.. but reli dun worry.. bcuz.. i will be fine.. i jus need some time... i will be back fighting on...
i jus need some time.. with Lord and myself.. i still have doubts and questions to ask Him.. but since i noe He loves me nevertheless, He will walk with me throughout this period of doubt..
lastly to my friends, i m sorry tt i haven been a gd friend... im sorry i have given u guys less care... sorry guys..your name
wrote at ;; 1:20 AM
Saturday, November 18, 2006
wad a joke.. some ppl thinkin of H3.. it is a choice for dem.. some pple thinkin of whether to drop subject... some pple thinkin of whether to conditional promote.. whilst some pple thinking of whether to retain.. some pple thinkin of whether to go poly... and lastly, some pple thinking of what course they shd tk..
in other words..
some pple are upset they didnt get the H3 they wan, some pple are upset they haf to drop subject.. some pple are upset that they have to conditional promote. some are upset they have to retain, some are upset they have to go poly..
in other words..
some are happy to get their H3.. some are happy they dun need to drop subj.. some are happy they can conditional promote.. some are even happy bcuz they GET TO RETAIN...
what a big diff isnt it.. Oh gosh i reli cant imagine.. can the top few ppl plusspare a tot for the bottom few.. stop complaining if u cant get tt H3 or if u hafta drop subject.. try getting retain!
today.. was a normal day.. went to tat standard chartered marathon meeting... supposed to be 1030.. we reached at ard 1120.. bcuz couldn find e place.. go inside.. sit awhile.. den leave le.. o well.. den went eat with Grace den go shop abit.. bought a lousy quality belt den went to church.. was vv chuan and tired s couldn reli conc.. so basically didnt gain much.. but in e end.. aft servie, go inside. saw fu shun mu shi keep walkin ard me.. finally decided to call him la.. respect ma.. so i said
cass: fu shun mu shi
fsms: how r u
cass: ok lo (smile)
fsms: reli?
cass: ya
fsms: dont be too upset la k..
cass: i wont de.
fsms: you may look back and realise wad a gd plan it is for u
cass: i doubt so (controlling my tears)
at this moment, joy came in for awhile
joy: cass mus ren ur tears dun cry.. wait until i tok to u k.. bye!
cass: orh bye (tears started droppin)
at this moment anna came in
anna: cassandra jie.. dun sad ( stood beside me and gave me a hug)
cass: wa so tall le ar can let me lean le
anna: alot of pple also say i grew taller
cass: haha good (snuggled in her shirt)
anna: dun cry... dun sad.. i oso will sad
at thismoment marg jie came in..
marg jie: in the end still cheng bu zhu le.. zhong yu ku le..
cass: mmm
marg jie: wads in ur mind now?
anna told marg jie all
marg jie: anna cass jie wun face any looking down de rite
anna: will la
marg jie: u are supposed to say no at this point of time!
anna: aiyah.. but God wun ma.. and so wun me and qi xi and eunice..
bla bla bla.. vv sweet disciple i haf.. so touching.. ='( but anw in e end.. anna prayed for me. in chinese k.. first tim i hear her praying infront of church leaders(when she act dun even dare to do so in front of youths..) and first time i hear her speak so earnestly in chinese.. so like a small girl reli pleading with God.. i was reli so touched den...
no matter how.. doubtful i m of God.. how angry i am.. how... upset i m.. zhen han ge is rite.. i still do have things to thank God for.. bcuz at least i noe.. ultimately. i can thank Him for giving me such a great disciple like Anna.. so zhen han ge if next tym i say i duno wad to give thanks for.. please remind me of this k..
my emotions are upanddownagain... Lord.. please show me ur grace and mercy now..your name
wrote at ;; 11:49 PM
Thursday, November 16, 2006
and there are no grapes on the vines
though the olive crops fails
and the field produce no food
though there are no sheep in the pen
or no cattle in the stalls
yet I will rejoice in the Lord
i will be joyful in God my Saviour
the Sovereign Lord is my strength
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer
He enables me to go on the heights
~ Habakkuk 2:17-19~
Lord.. please help me to remember that nothing is going to happen that You and I cant handle together.
at this period of my possibly first ever big failure of my life, I reli need this as a reminder to myself.. No fear cass.. bcuz He will walk with you all the time.. throughout the times u feel bad abt things, be it when you are vv happy.. or when u think u reli suck.. He will be with me.. He will walk with me.. He will carry me...
right?your name
wrote at ;; 11:06 PM
Monday, November 13, 2006
sometimes i reli get so frustrated with this Father i have. reli.. its like.. u noe.. He has a plan for each and everyone of us.. but He so slowly unveil His plans.. we wil jus have to take detours, wrong routes and all.. before reaching His ultimate plan for us.. then He dun answer prayers at times but jus want us to wait... Daddy ar..u noe ur daughter vv lost not? i dn even noe wad to prepare bcuz i dun even noe wad is my road like.. and i m nottokin abt the far future.. i mean i dunno my road that is gg to happen jusin 2 mths time le! how uncertain i can get??
Lord... you inspired someone to write that footprints story.. You will carry us when we are in our darkest and stormiest times... You know the way home..You are sheltering m.. You are my hiding place..Lord i have a choice.. i can choose to believe or not to believe all that i have said.. and i choose to believe! so Lord... please help me instill these into my heart. You know how weak i get.. how easily wavered my heart can be. When problems come, instead of keepin this faith, i often choose to waver and doubt You,dount Your existence, ask if You are to busy to even care abt me.. Lord help me.. keep my faith.. Lord carry me..
i somehow just knew that me serving the children's camp is gg to be vv beneficial for me.. thats why though i m vv busy, i chose to serve.. today i lookeed thru theQT materials.. bcuz its for children, its vv basic.. one QT wasabout Jesus loving us.. simple.. but u noe.. this simple thing.. is a difficult lessonto learn. as we grow and we meet trials, how to built our house on rocks and stand firm in our faith, that is wad's hard. so now though i noe all the theory stuff.. when i m facing my own storm now... its good to go back to wad a child learns. bcuz its when we reli can apply.. so Lord i pray that You reli use this camp to cont to mould me to be a woman of faith. The road in front of me.. may be the toughest in my 17yrs.. i noe i will fall.. i anticipate that i soon start to waver..this flame in my heart is flickering. but Lord.. i am your daught er nevertheless.. so i will be home... i will come home.. with your grace and mercy upon me, YOU WILL CARRY ME HOME...
thank you Lord.. i reli am entrusting my life into Your handsyour name
wrote at ;; 12:18 AM
Sunday, November 12, 2006
A very short prayer.. today i went church.. then got communion.. so basically everyone will jus walk to the front and the mu shi will pray for us.. so usually it is the standard prayer. that the Lord will bless u.. unless smth happen to u or u have exams then the mu shi will pray more la.. so today i was vv shocked when he said tt.. act to be truthfuly i was alittle angry de.. if e noes means the news of me not being able to promote must have been passing ard le.but when i went back to pray at my own seat, i realise... i reli realise.. he's short prayer reli shows his cae for his church members lo.. i will be strong de.. i m prepared for the worst..
thank you Lord for planning my life for me. and putting these pple who reli care for m to minister into my life.. Lord u noe at times i will doubt u.. u noe sometimes i will be very frustrsated at You.. but.. i noe You still love me.. and i noe You will still hold me tightly and constantly remind me how much You actually love me and how You will never give me up. at this time when i reli need strength to face all the.. neg feelings and all.. Lord walk with me.. Lord cary me.. Thank you Lordyour name
wrote at ;; 3:21 PM
Thursday, November 09, 2006
this girl likes this guy alot alot.. she told the guy she liked him.. but he rejected her.. however, she persevered and in e end... she won his heart.. he started liking her. and they got tog.. wad a beautiful story.. STORY.. recently i found long lost letter... when i first found it,i got a shocK! i tot i hid it well and i would never find it again. many times i missed him and i wanted to find the letter.. but i couldn find... that day.. without the intention of finding it, i found it... whils reading the letter, i winced... once again i asked myself.. why was i so dumb.. why did i not think carefully.. all these would not have happened! once again.. i blame myself for the result.. but then again.. i m glad..glad tt u could get over me..glad tt ur life is back to normal.. i rem readin one of ur blog post den.. u sayin how souless ur body was.. how u did not feel like doin anythin.. i rather u now.. happy and carefree.. wad abt me? ive moved on i suppose... sadly i could not.. could not move on as carefree-ly as u.. sadly i could not jus leave everything down and say.. tts it! im over with him... time to time i still do think abt u..time to time i stil do regret wad i did.. but i always have to remind myself..of wad u said den. it's over.. u n i noe it..yes it so is over... i promised it'll be e last time i think of u.. i promised tt i will never never look back.. i dun deny i broke e promise.. and reli i feel like breakin it again and again.. but seein my cousin;s weddin made me realised... how much both parties mus love each other b4 a marriage can work out.. how God mus be in the middle of the relationship b4 the marriage will work out... how much.. understanding and patience both party mus have before the relationship will work out.. its nt easy.. and we werent ready for all these commitmment i guess..
we're fools.. fools tt loved each other.. but did not noe wad had to come with this love.. but i never regretted being tt fool.. bcuz at least i noe.. i had memories with u.. i duno if u still cherish the memories as much as i do...but u noe smth..i reli so want to carvemore memories with u.. as a friend..as a brother.. i wan more memories of u n me..
also wondering these few days wad kind of person i m.. peraps my dear friends can tell me? the fact tt u have my address means u r my close friend.. so do tell me wad u think i m.. as for myself i think i m..
i dunno le.. mm.. help me kz.. hehe i wil only use as reference though..bcuz ft all its He who sees hu i am..
~i miss u~your name
wrote at ;; 7:22 PM
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
yest after PW went to meet xin yee to do our sample camp booklet.. aft tt decided to go dinner with wei jie.. den act marg jie sendin ma.. so i was saying go punggol eat.. lidaat i got str8 bus home =p he say ok ma so me and marg jie went to pick him up lor.. den on e way i dunno la i fell aslp but when i woke up sudd got one more option.. tt is to go bishan eat bcuz zhen han ge dere den aft tt she send me back to punggol den from dere i tk bus home la.. den i was like ok with the idea lo. so we went o her house to slp awhile until ard 645 den we went to Bishan. she went to eat crystal jade with zhen han ge den me and wj ate kopitiam la.. the food was quite ok though.. den we went to roam ard ad junction 8 while waiting for marg jie and zhen han ge..
saw the painting thingy. u noe e one tt always comes along with sand art.. ya but wj dun wan.. so aft much presuasion and rejection from him, i gave up lo.. den we also saw this place selling hermit crabs and these hermit crabs are called haha crabs.. they r re;i crabs but they look like toys! manz.. i got a shock when e crab started moving.. ya.. den we went life bookshop to wait for zhen han ge and marg jie..
we got the call from dem so we went down to look for dem.. den sudd marg jie pull me and like in a rush lidat.. i was like thinkin wad happened.. den she brought us to this... err.. i dunno how to call it.. it is like a soft toy.. but the soft toy can move.. so basically u pay $2 for a 4-5min ride.. yea.. den marg jie paid... so me and wj embarrasly went onto the ride like the other KIDS.. haha but it did make me laugh and genuinely smile.. then i felt so like... u noe... zhen han ge is daddy and marg jie is mummy and wei jie is DI DI.. haha.. (anw to wj.. someone dun wan do the paint with me.. now oso same.. still as kiddy rite? =P) ok la.. but it was seriously fun..
in e end got yi wai de shou huo.. zhen han ge sent us to our homes.. so i made e right choice.. hehe oops.. ya lor.. dats abt it la.. thanks to my mummy and daddy for the nite.. i was reli reli happy.. =Dyour name
wrote at ;; 2:25 PM