sometimes.. masks are scary.. they mask u till.. noone noes how u exactrly feel.. give u examples..
i dreamt tt i was walkin in some shoppin centre.. den i was stopped by this thingy dunno wad la. den i turned and i saw.. a big card and red boxes tt made up "i love u".. i took the card to read.. and in it was written.. " Dar.. im sorry for lettin u wait so long.. i didnt wan any distractions to draw me away from God.. but now. .. i wana be back with u. i miss u.." and then he appeared...
*wad a wonderful dream*
then today.. i took along my happy mood from the dream...... i went to his blog.. and alas! my beautiful dream.....
* o well........ stumped back into reality*
today mr lim toked to me.. he said.. i shd take care of my health. he asked me abt my tests.. den he ask me dun be too stressed.. how to be not stressed can.. others may not understand how it feels lo.. seriously..
teach u all smth a national bowler tot me.. next tym when u all wanna cry or frown... look up in the sky.. den open ur eyes big big.. wun fall le.. ur tears.. but today.. i tried.. it still fell.. i dun wana run away from reality but i haf to.. seriously.. i feel so damn stressed SO DAMN STRESSED that every time there is a test or returning a paper i feel like ponnin... its not like i like to pon ok. aiyah wadeva...
i m crappin yet again.. i m running.. i need to build up my stamina.. so i can always run away
watching the sec4s do their prelims.. its like a dejavu.. seriously.. its like. when u look back rite.. we were dere too.. and we mugged tog... time jus WOOSH and flew.. and we got our results.. most were quite satisfied.. and now.. we r in our respective schools.. moving on to a new phase of life.. vv soon these sec4s will realise how fast tym flies for dem too..bcuz they will be in the hall nervously waiting for their results slips.. and then they realise.. my os is OVER! haha.. so to all e sec4s.. jiayou kz.. vv vv soon it will be over.. rite grace, rite chyr rite rite rite? =DD so jiayou ba.. imagine.. u'lll have 2 mths of slack.. i mean reli slack.. there is ABSOLUTELY nth to do leh...u cant study bcuz u duno wad to study.. so u r rightfully free!! while we j2s (maybe j1 for me) will be mugging for sch for next yr.. so u all muz stay strong yea? dun gif up when u are left with 200m to end this whole stupid race! =DD
i realised i am a person who is afraid to face reality.. like reli afraid la.. like rite.. on a small scale, tests.. tests are considered small bcuz they r not even counted! like if u dun do well.. den do beta next tym lo.. nvm de ma. it is jus a lect test. yea.. but.. i noe i didnt do well for maths.. so i try all ways to escape from maths bcuz i dunwan getback my test.. u noe wad i mean.. i jus wan to run away from tt reality.. on a larger scale.. my relationships.. i try to run away.. using escape as my resort to get out of the miseries I MAY face.. like him lo.. e reason i broke i sbcuz i was afraid of wad MAY happen.. why cant i jus learn to face reality at times.. like if anything bad happens rite.. i will lie to myself, telling myself i dun care.. but sub consciously.. or maybe consciously, i run away from wad i m gg to fACE.. haiz.. no good.. i shd change.. but.. how?? mmm....
anw.. aby pphysio.. muz always talk abt physio bcuz it is a phase of my life i will never wanna forget.. hehe... u noe smth.. last tym till i was sec4 i tot physio is for those hu got into car accidents onli.. u noe in shows.. ya.. so went Dr Roger say i need to go physio i was like super shocked la... den my impression of a physio place is like.. some sickly cold thing with all doc and physios.. and like.. ya.. but den i realised.. so many young ppl go physio.. and the physio place is exactly like a gym! haha. anw.. although i sound like i like phsyio.. my stand is still.. i dun like physio.. i onli like e ppl and the place.. (minus e hosp smell) haha.. oh and e food court's food is not bad too.. =DD anw.. today's tentatively my sec last physio session.. i said tentatively.. haha.. bcuz i dunwan like last tym say i wil discharge den sudd i m not.. mm..
anw chaw meng nagging nagging me to do my WR.. haha i beta go.. BUAIZ!
*why muz dere be econs later. why muz dere be civics... =(*