Thursday, May 03, 2007
things hasn't been gg tt well after all..
well school aside. school has been great.. lessons are interesting, though abit hard to grasp.. friends are sweet, and everyday, i seem to be connecting with 1 new person.. enjoy class, enjoy sch..
table tennis has been.. argh i dun even wanna type out. its reli a case of passion vs pride and tolerance.. and sad to say, the tolerane + pride is soon gg to override the passion, that was burning so strongly even after i left TJ. today told some peep tt i wanna quit. it'd be a letdown. letdown to coach.. prob my only concern (apart from myself)..
church act went on a right track alr.. compared to last yr when me and __ and ___ will jus sit down and talk abt stuff and get determined to do so... this yr __ told me again tt she is considering, and for me, i was sure NO. i felt i was on e right track, and everything's gg fine.. but incidents happen, and ___ u r right.. nth has changed. disappointed.. reli i m. went night cycling a few days ago. enjoyed myself.. I literally mean enjoyed MYSELF. yea.. ok shall go into detail of e nite cycle.
signed up w/o even checkin hu was gg. realised tt son's not gg.. cell onli shuling and wei xuan. sec2 gals onli qi xi and germaine. but den since i love cycling, decided to jus go for it. the trip was ECP to sentosa. gathered at ECP.. below are jus brief summation of events tt happened..
a) got into groups
b) started cycling
c) cycled in groups
d) ppl too fast, qixi couldn catch up so i slow down
e) smth happened, so me and qi xi became infront
f) reached sentosa with qixi
g) return journey, waited for qixi
h) qixi had to go infront cuz pple kept askin her to
i) i cycled behind myseld
j) saw e whole group of them
k) i was transparent
l) decided to lag behind so can enjoy scenery and watch yi xing
m) fell down(not main point)
n) reached back ECP with yi xing
o) ppl dispersed from meetin point
p) looked ard.realised i am onli with the older peep cux qixi went off with mom
q) wondered and searched for them
r) oh they are infront alr
s) tried to catch up but injured so forget it
t) saw them at a table,but no more space
u) sat with the sinyee and yirong
v) ppl asked y i not with my clique
w) i asked who's my clique
x) person walks away
y) realised his point of view
z) realised wad ___ mean
z+1) i didnt tk a SINGLE PIC in all e pic they took..sad thing they includes ** didnt think itd be like tt
I HAVE ENOUGH OF BEING OUTCASTED! dun like to hide on blog.. blatantly speakin, i dun wan and like to put myself in a situation whereby i am at a risk of being outcasted. table tennis and church likewise. ok maybe i am being emo..maybe i am being rash.. bleah i dun care. if my friends ( i mean real friends= 2H03 plus son plus 26/07 plus some others) know, i show my displeasure in ppl's face. it may be a flaw but i dun hide. i have nEver NEVER in my life experienced being TOTAALLY outcasted.. never.. and my friend said : welcome to the real world. and zhixuan, my ans stays e same.. but thanks gal.
ok things are bad.. but nt tt bad.. as i said, i still enjoyed my night cycling.. i still LOVE sch.. with ppl like amanda, kai xuan, scuba diver and all e rest.. (: who says i need ****** and ****..ok maybe i need table tennis.. but bleah! wadeva..
special thanks:
amanda, kai xuan janice ( for jus being with me in sch)
brandon and guorong ( for accompanyin me during training)
huan liang, lemon, aloy, jun kang, qi xi, germaine ( for accompanying me during night cycling)
this is an emo post.............
did i mention i cant and wun be gg for cell animore
Labels: outcasted
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wrote at ;; 1:06 AM
