Cassandra Loh

Sunday, October 08, 2006

dunno wads getting over me la.. e stress? or smth.. to some ppl i may be alientated already.. i may alr be not normal to pple..but..tts e way i wan it now.. i dun wan change anythin abt me now.. the stake? - i may lose some of my friends..(friends dat couldn last the storm with me), i may leave impression that i am a weirdo in my teachers minds. or wadeva.. but sorry..i jus wan to be like that now.say i m a princess.. say i wan my way.. say i m spoilt.. but reli.. its not how u tink! aiya wadeva.. bcuz i m vv vv confident tt i have a bunch of friends tt will tide thru the storm with me.. and wad more.. that faithful HIM up dere.. wad do i fear?

today's sermon was good.. k maybe to alot its jus another sermon.. but today.. throughout the whole service..i felt God's presence.. as in seriously.. it all started when we sang the song through it all... * I'll sing to you Lord a hymn of love for Your faithfulness to me.. I'm carried in everlasting arms.. You'll never let me go.. through it all.. * i stopped singing aft the 1st chorous ended.. they repeated.. i didnt sing.. i closed my eyes.. i prayed... den i stopped praying.. but my eyes remained close.. with my mind blank, smth came into my mind.. "my daughter.. come into my arms.." i was like shocked.. i didnt want to open my eyes.. i loved tt feelin.. His arms were open for me.. seriously.. then sermon was abt faith.. and to have the faith, we have to recall wad wonderful things he had done for us.. thinking and thinking.. i realised..He planned everythin for me.. sorry Daddy.. i vv bu ting hua.. so u must well jus plan for me.. hehe.. and everythin jus goes all rite.. throughout the sermon. i asked myself.. where was my faith?? retain or not.. God has His plans..

aft service i jus broke down.. while praying for myself, i felt like i was gg to break down..jus got tt feelin la.. u noe.. like duno y.. den i dunno y ar.. i jus went straight to cuifen jie.. like u noe.. i m not tt close to her.. seriously.. we dun tok emo stuff.. onli tok serious or jking stuff.. ya.. she was tokin to.. alvin i tink.. den i jus went dere and i said.."cui fen jie i'm afraid" she stopped her convo.. den she brought me to a side.. den i briefly told her wad happened.. tink she oso abit shock why i choose her la.. haha.. den ya lo i felt beta.. den bcuz i was crying ma.. den alvin saw.. den he talked abit to me.. den aft tt... he called wx.. den wx oso got tok abit la.. den pwj and mingli toked to me oso lo..

den e sweet thing.. my 2 girls, anna and qi xi.. they were at a corner the whole tym i was crying la.. like they dun dare to come over.. den sudd anna ask.. cassandra jie u wan a hug? den i at first like vv embarrassed bcuz wx they all ard ma.. den i act la..i say huh? den she say u wan a hug? den i err.... den she jus hugged me and seriously i felt so much beta.. then we went tm to eat la. 3 of us.. den sudd they so suspicious again.. duno wad dey up to.. den in e end dey went to buy this zip pencil case tt i jus briefly said i like but didn bring money to buy.. e 2 of dem oso nt enuf money so they shared to buy.. and both have NO money aft tt.. i was so touched.. den they say.. " cassandra jie.. dun so stress k. this is to make u happy.." it was a small act.. as in.it was onli 9.90.. i could have bought it myself! but u noe.. when they gave the thingy to me and said those stuff.. i reli almost cried in tm.. thanks darlings.. u all reli sweet..

so tts my day.. tml..i will go to service.. and seek from Him a faithful and trusting heart.. Lord.. teach me.. that in whatever i do.. You are always with me.. in what ever i do.. You never forsake me..

with all my heart, amen

your name wrote at ;; 12:07 AM