Cassandra Loh

Sunday, February 19, 2006

hey son.. ouch.. that hurt.. yea it reli did.. i am now in the library.. and.... i reli almost cried.. yea but anyway.. i agree with wad u sae la.. i oso know i shd forget.. i also noe that i shd jus look upon him as a normal fwen.. i tried i reli did.. but i cant!! everytime i go to the airport.. or when i go to galilee... i jus cant get over.. i know how he feels abt me.. i m absolutely clear now.. esp aft wad u said.. but.. i'm sorry.. i cant forget i reli cant.. i haf tried and failed.. and it is reli tiring.. i even went to the extent of gg to the airport and try to remember all our past.. and NOT letting those past affect me.. yi du gong du.. but it didnt work.. i still cant.. i can appear aloof in front of everyone... but when it is left with me and our Father.. i noe he noes how i feel.. i noe that when i am crying and missing him.. i noe that HE is also cryin with me.. i noe that HE feels my heartache too.. but i also noe that HE has HIs own plan for me and that is y HE didnt let me haf him.. but it is alrite.. reli... i wun grumble or complain that i cant be with him.. i reli dun mind. i jus hope thati can care for me.. and that when he needs someone i m dere.. and when sumthing happens to him, i m dere to encourage him.. and dat when he needs a listening ear or when he needs a punching bag.. i m always here.. he may nv use me anymore.. bcuz he doent want to care abt me.. but at least i hope that he knows.. i am here.. ever ready waiting to be dere for him.. ya thats all.. nth more..

ok wow.. long one.. ok anyway.. updates.. yest i went to changi rise.. yes u didnt hear wrongly.. it is changi rise.. his house.. u noe why.. long story. i m supposed to give follow up dere.. den in the end i dunno wad happen then eunice nv ans call s and all.. and the other two pri6s and i were like waiting like idiots la.. so i decided to sms him to ask him for help.. though he sounded very unwilling, but yeah.. he still helped me.. when i stepped in,... i almost cried.. i miss the place so much.. dun sae i am kua zhang but the smell was reli still e same.. the smell of the place and all.. the outlooks.. everything.. i miss the place so much man.. ya den i gave follow up and all lo..

tml rachel is leaving for australia le.. dunno y but ppl ard me are all leaving.. i'll miss rachel so much,, zhe me shuo we were both from xiao..and now we still in the same serving cell.. the pri6s cell.. so ya.. developed a rather close relationship with her lo..=( i reli pray that she will be fine dere and wwill reli get use t the place asap... and that when she is lonely.. she will nv forget that JESUS is always with her on every journey she embarks on.. amen! =) when she is leaving..den i also felt smth.. is it always when we lose smth then we know how to treasure it?!?!

ya.. i shall stop here la.. gg airport now..meet prisch friend... lolz airport AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! ='( okok... stopwhining!!! i tot i jus promised to be dere for him.. not to be his burden by keep sticking to him like glue...

"now den i reli feel this feeling dat he felt.. ying wei zai yi qian nian yi hou, shi jie zao yi mei you wo. wu fa shen qing wo zhe ni de shou, qian wen zhe ni er tou.. bie deng dao yi qian nian yi hou, suo you ren dou yi wang le wo.. na shi hong she huang hun de sha mo hui you shui jie kai chan rao qian nian de ji mo.."

a verse for myself and for everyone out dere.. " some trust in chariots and some in horses but i trust in the name of the Lord our GOd..."

your name wrote at ;; 3:50 PM